Peaceful beginnings

I am sitting here at 6:22 a.m. and the house is silent except for the heater that runs on a 10 minute interval. My husband had to go to NYC this a.m. and was up at 5, so I decided to get up with him. Now, before you gasp, I am a morning person. So, although these days with a 2 1/2 year old and a 5 month old it is much harder to do this, when I do, I am always better for it. The cold mornings of winter coupled w/ nighttime feedings and a seemingly overscheduled life make this one of the hardest commitments I can make to myself. Laying in that warm bed.. AHHH, nothing like it. Until - the pitterpatter of my sons feet come in. He is ON. Chatting away, or crying about something, as he often does in the morning if things are not just right. He want us to get up now, get breakfast, do things the way he wants.. OH, and there is the baby. "Don't feed him Mommy, NO!" my son cries and tantrums. On a good day, he will oblige, and come downstairs without protest and sit while I nurse the baby. However, he will ask for breakfast, Tv, water, vitamins, fishoil, etc etc. all the while - knowing full well I cannot do any of these things at that time. Another tantrum is brewing. Once the baby is finished, I empty the dishwasher, make snack for school if it is a school day, make my husband lunch, make myself coffee (remarkable I get this in, but not because I am taking care of myself, but only because I need this to help everyone else), tea for my husband, breakfast for Jasper, on and on - you get the picture. (My husband is not non-existent in this, but is busy getting ready for work, making beds, walking the dog, anwering the flood of emails streaming in on the blackberry) So, I get back to how this ramble began! When I "force" myself out of bed, even 1/2 hour early the day seems better. I can get a few things organized before tending to my family. I am calm, and have time to meditate on the day. The sun gently comes up over the horizon, and I can enjoy a cup of coffee and check my email, look through a magazine, or write a blog entry! It is now 6:35 - everyone is still sleeping and I will probably have 20 more full minutes to myself. Now that is the way to begin a day.

Being Present

I've been listening to "A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose", by Eckhart Tolle.  Got it on audio book so I could take it with me when I go for walks with my dog. And I didn't get it because it's on Oprah's book club -- kudos to her for putting a book like this on her book list -- but because I had read his previous book "The Power of Now" and it had made an impact on me.

"A New Earth" is so far just as great as his previous book.  It's the kind of message that I, in my judgmental have-been-in-NY-for-too-long point of view, did not think the majority of the population would be ready to digest.  But as the author points out right from the get go, humanity is just now opening itself to awakening.  I certainly need some of that!

On chapter two of the book he shares some thoughts on parenting that really hit home for me today.  It reminded me of the fact that from a "being" point of view my kids are my equals and I'm here to allow them to be who they are, without playing into society's role of what a parent is supposed to be.

Easier said than done, I know!  But reminding ourselves to be present at each moment with our kids can only result in a more mindful experience of parenting.

This morning (after my walk with the dog listening to all the wonderful insights from Eckhart Tolle) my son was having a real hard time getting ready for school.  And I was having an even harder time trying at keep my cool as I worked HARD at getting him to eat his breakfast and get dressed fast enough so not to be late for school.  Towards the end I found myself yelling at him as he stared at me totally unaware of what was going on.  After he left I was FINALLY able to put some thought into what had happened.  It was as if my son was not even present as I yelled at him.  Because he wasn't!!  It was I reacting on MY OWN expectations of him and of what needed to happen at that moment.  To be present is, in many ways, to allow yourself to step back and see the situation as an exchange between two EQUAL beings, playing different roles.

I'm sure I'll have plenty of opportunities to practice being present with my kids... there are plenty of buttons to push!!  In the meantime I'll keep listening to the book.

I would certainly recommend ECKHART TOLLE's books. And would love to hear about your experiences with trying to stay present in your interactions with your kids.

More than a cleaning

Going to the denstist is never fun. Fun aside, it becomes almost impossible to go to a dentist or any other doctor once you become a mother. It is just one more thing to schedule into your day -- AND, what to do with the kids? My son (who is 2 1/2) is in daycare 2 days a week, so I decided to bring my infant son with me to the dentist. He fortunately is an easy going baby (I would have never attempted this with my other son when he was a baby!) and the receptionist at the office said he was welcome. This, I thought, was amazing. She told me there would be many people there to hold him if he was fussy. WOW! SO, I bring my easy going baby to the dentist, and he is great.... for 1/2 hour. Then, as I should have known would happen, a frantic wail. This wail did not stop. As promised, a hygenist came in to hold him, and he would not stop. "I can come back," I said to the woman cleaning my teeth. "The last thing anyone needs in a dentist office is more stress, and I am sure a crying baby is not helping!," I continued. Just then, a shout from the room next door. "Don't worry, we are all moms here. All we are feeling is that we want to come over and help."

Imagine if moms had this support everywhere. Wouldn't some elements of motherhood seem easier? Do you have any stories to share about how you were helped or made to feel at ease in a stressful situation? It truly can make your day.